POST 695: 11/02/12; GILETTE, WYOMING

Five in the morning, ready for breakfast, in Gilette, Wyoming.  Still very dark out, with twilight rising about 8:00 am. 

On the phone with a few friends during the night.  Was shaking with my body buzzing as I lay down last evening...remembering I, under the pressure of the last 48 hours, forgot my heart medication.  Was pleased to wake an hour ago...was not sure that would happen

Have driven 1/4 the way from Seattle back to OBX.  My trusty MPV (car) now has 258,900 miles and is beginning to complain (transmission).  With the advent of Hurricane Sandy, OBX cut off from the ocean once again washing out Highway 12, and the potential of finding a paying job in OBX nearly non-existant, AND, my growing weakness - I am so very tired -, I have decided to take a day off by staying another night in Gilette. 

I must stop here / now, not drive another 2,000 miles to uncertainty of the wisdom to return to the OBX. 

One of my friends in Bellingham has advised me that there is an overabundance of "low income" (that's me, for the moment) housing avilable.  I also have 28 years of true friends in Bellingham, many of whom continue to read my blog and offer their support. 

I really do want to help my new friends in OBX.  Most are quite poor, living in modest means, without flood insurance...now faced with another challange.  I, of all people, have learned, however:  that to help others, one must first be in love with one's self...or at least be content within.  At the moment, I am not too keen on my recent decisions.  Perhaps it is time to seek a quiet comfy spot to regroup.

So, before testing the endurence of my transmission...and pushing myself into deeper potential health problems - after all, I ain't no spring chicken no more -, I will take this day to reflect and plan. 

Uppermost, I look forward to Lisbon / Beijing.  I would like to do what no one has done before (as far as I have learned); walk fully around the land mass of the World.  I am still up to that challenge, but as my Bellingham Primary Doctor once said..."pick your battles, Bruce."

I am not certain a return to OBX will help achieve my ultimate goal.

Yes, a day of pure rest and reflection is in order.

I find myself chocking up, holding back the tears of failure.

I really do need this day off.