Been a very emotional week; closing down tenancy of my Company warehouse. Every item I touch...give away...throw out...or pack away for some later date...is fraught with memories. A simple label on shelving brings tears remembering Christiane's careful penmanship..."09-6", the ID of a popular Instant Bow Ribbon. The ribbons are all gone now, as are all candy boxes, all decorator bags, twist-ties, candy cups, and yes, also Christiane, who died January 12, 2001, after fighting breast cancer for over 10 years. It's tough to lose ... tougher still to put away all the tangibles, leaving only memories, many of which are yours alone.
Some consolation???Christiane's loss was so much more traumatic, desperate, and final. I simply turn the page of life to begin my new chapter...my walk into my future.
But, that is the way it is on this stormy Saturday morning in Bellingham. Up at 4:11am, battling Alisha and Sarah in Tennis on Wii...try to do battle every morning as it gets the snaps' firing upstairs; mixing up some blueberry pancakes (Christiane called them "Saddleblankets") with diced banana, and thinking thru the day's activities to set priorities. Esther returns on Monday after 3 months celebrating Fastnacht in Switzerland. MUST have our home spic n' span for her return; not really much to do as I'm kinda always ready for visitors.
Good news! Jon advises me that his ("our") documentary film has been chosen as a finalist in the Toronto Film Festival. Seniors Walking is scheduled to be reviewed by a much larger audience (judges) on May 02. Final selections are to be made by May 10 or so. Jon is elated and confident his film will do well. He...me too...is eager to start receiving my HD video cards of my walk so he can continue the saga of this ole' man walking into his - and other's - future. April 20 departure still looks good.
A unique and wonderful thing happened yesterday. SAM has an empty space between the solar panels (above) and the "passenger" compartment (below). I wanted to use this space to carry along a pillow and quickly accessible spare/dry clothing, etc. After nearly 2 months searching, finally found "Marc", owner of Signs by Tomorrow on Iowa Street. He took one look at SAM, marveled and began immediate construction of a custom-molded plastic tray to fit SAM's empty space. He offered that if he could hang his advertising on SAM, he would charge only 50% for his tray. "You bet," But Marc lied to me. His beautifully crafted tray fit perfectly. He handed me his sign and flatly refused my money. I'm not used to "receiving". I am and have always been the "giver". Now I'm struggling with becoming a "receiver". Thanks, Marc.
I have a new consideration. During the past few months, my hands have become increasingly sore. Dr. Ross, my Primary Physician, said not to worry, but the soreness has now become complete with all fingers on both hands and moving into my wrists. Seems like arthritis to me. As with all things to do with my body, I put mind over matter and the pain goes away. But in the quiet peaceful moments alone, my hands remind me - constantly - that change is underway. Now, I am facing a new realization that just possibly I really am getting on in age.
Well, it just goes to show how much I must take special care of this body. I trust I am up to the challenge.